jueves, 29 de octubre de 2009

Helio Castroneves

Llevo ya bastantes dias hecho un auténtico Cristo.
Debo estar gestando un virus altamente letal y de sintomatología inquietante.
Me sudan las axilas a borbotones aun sometido a las más bajas temperaturas, y las rodillas me flaquean, sobretodo andando en línea recta.
Expulso esputos que harían palidecer a un enfermo de ébola, e intento apretar los puños y no lo logro.
En el otoñísimo de mi vida, me encomiendo a mis anticuerpos y leucocitos para que el desenlace de esta tremebunda batalla sea favorable a nuestros intereses.

Y en medio de esta dantesca guerra librada a nivel bacterial, no puedo dejar de pensar lo que me gustaría tener un hijo llamado Helio Castroneves.
¿Se os ocurre un nombre más rematadamente cojonudo que ese?

71 comentarios:

oscarini dijo...

Helio, diminutivo de Heliogabalo, emperador romano que su mandato ignoró las tradiciones religiosas y los tabúes sexuales de Roma. Se casó hasta cinco veces y se dice que se prostituyó en el palacio imperial.

Gran tipo, si señor.

Por otra parte, cabe mencionar que Heliogabal es el nombre del mejor local de Barcelona en la actualidad.

Red Pèrill dijo...

Helio? Si et sortís amb veu de pitufo, nanooo, hauries begut oli (o whisky de garrafa en el seu defecte...)

JoanCG dijo...

Lo de Castroneves me suena un poco a spam, pero bien-bien, evocador de grandes gestas si més no.
No tendrás flojera? Búscate un problema gordo y verás como desaparece de inmediato.
Escribiendo sobre la flojera me ha venido a la cabeza un nombre que en su día me impresionó: Otelo Saraiva de Carvalho. Recuerdo una foto de Saraiva en las primeras horas después de que tanques y claveles llenaron Lisboa. Estaba en lo alto de una gran escalinata, solo, imponente, erguido y con el rostro pétreo y los brazos cruzados sobre el pecho, esperando a un escuchimizado Spinola que iniciaba monóculo en ojo el ascenso por las escaleras. Era como una peli de romanos, de Marlon Brando. Tremendo, pero como nombre me pareció demasiado para cualquiera de mis hijas.

lesthat dijo...

Desde cuando Los senadores son fans de IndyCar??? Blasfemo! Heregia!

JoanCG dijo...

Oscarini,
Lo tengo hablado con un amigo de infancia: en el Heliogabal de Ramón y Cajal habíamos comido tortilla de patatas para merendar cuando era la bacallaneria+tienda de olivas+vivienda de los padres de un compañero de cole. Espacio tan pequeño como el de ahora, pero con un gran patio trasero lleno de hamacas y gatos.
La vida es acojonante.

DavidG dijo...

los sorianos tienen nombres extrañisimos

por ejemplo Teotrepites...acojonante

General Fórceps dijo...

Soriano president!!!

oscarini dijo...

Joan, coño, que casualidad.
Ahora se ha convertido en EL local de referencia.

JoanCG dijo...

Sí sí, eso parece. Pero aparte de ti y mi hija menor, ¿cabe alguien más?

Ant. dijo...

El Heliogabal no es un local de música en directo?

Helio está bien. Helio Castroneves suena más bien ridículo.

Ya te dije que tenías que usar gomas si tenías relaciones fuera del matrimonio. Sobretodo con las relaciones gays a las que tanto te habías aficionado últimamente.
Estás jodido chaval. Tendrás que andar con los retrovirales el resto de tu vida.
Llama a Rai y a Oscarini para adevertirles. Ellos también tendrán que hacerse las pruebas.

HRubesch dijo...

Bruno Parmentier es mi favorito.

General Fórceps dijo...

Hombre yo siempre he sido mucho de:
Mario Kassar
&
Andrew Vajna

General Fórceps dijo...

O Mike Post
&
Pete Carpenter

HRubesch dijo...

Eros Ramazzotti!

Mr Towers dijo...

Hem quedo amb la família Von Dildo: les 2 germanes, Brittany i Douche Von Dildo, el germà Rupert Von Dildo, i el pare Ubertus Von Dildo.

Fórceps, ànimus. ¿portes mascarilla verda? deus estar divinodelamuerte.

nxt, me poso burraco només de pensar-hi.

PENELOPE dijo...

Por la parte de Castilla La vieja ( ya no se llama así ,no?) hay nombres más originales...p.ej Grafilo


Hey que mi ahijada se llama Elia, sin hache, como su bisabuela, o sea mi abuela ( la primera mujer de Orihuela que le daba al Ducados que no veas, jajajaja)

P.D

Fórceps, deja de quejarte, narices, que cuando llegues a los 40 no se que vas a hacer

gurb dijo...

sí, el heliogabal es un gran local. Estos pensamientos me hacen pensar que debe tener fiebres bastante altas.

Ant. dijo...

En Galicia la gente también tiene nombres poco comunes.

General Fórceps dijo...

os va a gustar:
http://corrieredelmezzogiorno.corriere.it/video/?vxSiteId=bc005c9d-d69f-463a-ae21-a260eceafed0&vxChannel=Mezzogiorno%5FCronache&vxClipId=2524_91480&vxBitrate=300

PENELOPE dijo...

ostia, Forceps

Raimon dijo...

No sabía que el Heliogabal era un local gay.

Llevas meses con ese virus, Fórceps. Por algún motivo no acaba de marcharse. Has probado a reinstalarte el sistema operativo?

Y lo de e intento apretar los puños y no lo logro es una forma poética de decirnos que vas estreñido?

Espero que el video sea un fake. De no ser así, considero obsceno que se cuelgue algo así en la red.

Corser dijo...

Fue un placer conocerte y saludarte a ti y a toda tu família en Bejing.

Anónimo dijo...

vaig coneixer un tio que de cognom es deia sarasa.

no revelare si es el rai o no.

haloscan ja!!!


rummi

General Fórceps dijo...

es que me he liado con la medicación. me he cascado anti-depresivos, mañana os cuento la historia si estoy de humor.

HRubesch dijo...

Arriba esos ánimos, hombre!

En mi antiguo curro estaba por ahí el sr. Josep Verdura Salada.

http://www.cperc.net/usuaris/fitxapublica.php?llengua=ca&idvar=105

Dr. Deferiensia dijo...

Para nombre chulo James Gandolfini.
Stephan Lecko también mola.
O Badr Hari.

Mas apellido que otra cosa.

Ant. dijo...

Verdura Salada. Manda huevos.

JohnPJones dijo...

Forceps, Paisa...

No llames por la revolución, la mayoría de Españoles, sean del Principado o allén del oasis son tercos, obscurantistas y ignorantes.

No valen ni su pena ni su arenga, Millet esta en casa, Lluis Prenafeta igual no pasara mucho tiempo, y el inclito Bartomeu Muñoz, si fuera a presentarse a alcalde en Santa que mola de Gramanet, volveria a tener suficientes borregos para votarle.

Ud, sabe como funciona esto, la meritocracia, sur de los pirineos es imposible.

Anónimo dijo...

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JohnPJones dijo...

Sobre el Post...

Un jugador de la NFL hace años tenia uno brutal

Napoleon MacKenzie.

Y era negro.

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